Up to Something Good

First comes love then comes marriage then 2.5 weeks later comes everyone and their mother asking you when you are going to have a baby. For 5 years we tried and tried and nothing was happening. In the midst of our trying the questions would come. You never realize how personal of a question “when are you going to have a baby” is until someone asks you the question when you are in the middle of trying to have one. I will never forget the day someone jokingly said “Geez Sarah you are getting up there! Time to pop out a kid already!!” I would just smile and laugh along with them “Soon” would be my reply when my true fear was actually “Maybe never.” In the midst of all of this the Lord sent me a dear friend. She was walking through the same thing that I was. Sometimes we would be standing together and people would ask us at the same time the dreaded “when” question. We would both laugh it off exchanging “if only they really knew” looks to one another. We sat back and watched as mutual friends of ours had oops pregnancies and planned timing pregnancies alike. It seemed so easy for everyone else-it was never easy for us. We had many lunches where we sat and encouraged each other each lamenting that we didn’t quite understand what God was up to but it must be something good. I don’t know when and I don’t know how but I knew that someday we would both be Mom’s, I would tell her. Turns out God was up to something good-very good.

She continued to support me through Joel’s cancer battle always a faithful friend, ever encouraging. After years of trying naturally with no success we both decided to pursue other options. Our decision lead us to IVF theirs to adoption. We both proceeded forward cautiously not knowing what would happen. Every night I would pray for my friend that God would make her a Mom. I wanted it for her just as bad as I wanted it for myself.

Adoption is not for the faint of heart, of that I am sure. Our conversations now took a different path. As I sat there rubbing my round belly, pregnant with our miracle, I would listen to her stories of where their adoption journey was taking them. I listened, broken-hearted, as she told me the story of a daughter that they thought was theirs only to find out later that she was unadoptable. I listened as they later went back to Africa this time to adopt a little boy and a little girl, only to be told when they got there that the adoption might not take place. My heart was so grieved for her. It shouldn’t be this difficult. It wasn’t fair. If anyone would make an amazing Mom it was my precious friend. And now that it was happening for me it had to happen for her too. It just had to.

Fast forward to a few weeks later and they get an email-saying their adoption had been signed off on and these children were now officially theirs. In an instant she became a Mother of not only one but two babies. As I saw the picture of her new children landing for the first time in America I was reduced to tears. I thought about all of the years of the wondering, the waiting, but of the surety of His promise through it all. We may have waivered but both of us held firm in our belief that somehow, someway, we would both be Mom’s. And now, within 6 months of each other-we both were. We will now get to walk together from our journey of infertility down the road of motherhood-at the same exact time. Yes-He was up to something good, writing a story that was better than anything that we could have ever written ourselves. That is the goodness of our God.

“For this child I have prayed and the Lord has given me the desires of my heart” 1 Samuel 1:27