When there's an event that occurs yearly I compare last years event to this years. I guess that is human nature to compare what was to what is and see how it measures up. I was never really one to attend the State Fair but I did last year to support my sister Annie while she sang on the main stage. I remember it was one of our first family outings. Milo was a little over 2 months old and I wasn't really wanting to leave the house much, just hibernate and cuddle with him all day. Joel was 2 chemo rounds in but seemed to be tolerating things decently. I remember it was our first time to use the stroller and when we took it out of the car we stood there for forever trying to figure out how to even open the darn thing. As I walked into the fair entrance I specifically remember thinking how blessed I was. I was blessed to have my husband still with me after battling cancer for 2 years. I was blessed to have my precious baby boy that we struggled for 5 years to have. Any time we would go somewhere as a family it almost felt surreal to me that I had everything I had ever dreamed of having. Of course this year was different but it was still good. I still have my son with me and as he grows he just gets more and more fun. He loved seeing all of the booths and flags flying in that brisk Oklahoma wind. He loved seeing the massive Clydesdale horses that towered over even me. He loved going to the barn and seeing the pigs, goats and ducks (they were really chickens but ducks seemed to be easier for him to say so we went with it!) I loved every moment of being there with him and our friend Kaylee that came along. The day was good. It wasn't the same. But it was good. I think the reason why the first year is the hardest is because you have to get through all of the "firsts". When I go to the fair next year I won't be comparing it to the memory of my husband being with me, I will compare it to this years memory. The thought of that makes me sad but I understand that's just how it will have to be in this season. The weird thing about the sadness is that it doesn't negate the happiness. They exist side by side in the oddest of parallels. No matter what I have lost there is still joy in what remains. For that I am thankful.
I have some really exciting news to share with you all but it will have to wait until the next blog. I can't wait to share with you then. Thank you for being such amazing readers and always so supportive of us! Hope you enjoy the pictures below. The first two pictures below are from last years fair and the rest are from this year.