The Definition

Definition-The act of defining or making definite, distinct, or clear. The other day Joel & I were talking. I had been having a really hard day. I was telling him that I was tired of cancer defining our lives. When you are fighting a battle against cancer it becomes the #1 most important thing in your world. At the hospital we are cancer patients. To new people we meet we are that couple going through the cancer battle. To some people who don’t know us we are the couple that is having a cancer fundraiser held for them. Understandably so, it’s what everyone asks about & talks to you about. For Joel & I, this cancer that invaded our lives is a new thing. We have been a couple for 7 years. There are so many more interesting things about us as a couple & as individuals than what we are currently walking through. When I think about all of the things that for 29 years have made me who I am-this whole cancer deal is just a new thing. There are so many more components that make up who I am as a person. Yet, ever since our world changed in May everything has been about cancer. To many it is Joel & my identity as a couple. It started to make me feel that I was losing myself as a person in a way, because this has become the biggest thing defining me as a person. And that made me sad. I was expressing these feelings to Joel as we were getting ready to go to our Life Group that evening. Once we got there we started our time of prayer & worship. A new friend of mine came over & asked to pray for me & I said of course. She pulled out her Bible & started to read Proverbs 31 to me stating that this is how God sees & identifies me. She had no clue what I had just been talking to Joel, literally an hour before, about feeling like I was losing my identity & being totally defined by this illness. In that moment God clearly spoke through her to tell me what my true identity was. It is of being a strong wife to my husband, a provider for my family, being clothed with strength & dignity, a woman who fears the Lord. That is how God sees me. It is so easy when we are going through situations to let those situations define you. I am this job or I am this illness. I am this problem, I am this relationship, I am this number on the scale or I am this difficult time. But guys, we are so much more than our circumstances. Circumstances change & fluctuate but how God sees us never changes. Even though Joel & I are walking through a difficult season in our lives who we are as people has never changed in God’s eyes. We are still his children whom He loves, He still walks besides us, He still calls us blessed. It made me stop for a minute & say no, cancer is not going to define me for one more day. Cancer is what we are walking through but it is not who we are. Who you are is not altered by what others say about you or what situation you walk through. Let yourself be defined by God’s definition of you & see yourself how He sees you. When you focus instead on what He sees then I believe it can start to alter the situation that surrounds you. That is my challenge these days more than ever before!

Have a great day all. We love you! Sarah