“I am sorry you are having to go through this Sarah.” Simple words-spoken to me in the bathroom at my job-by a co-worker of mine. We have had so many people telling us positive things & offering words of encouragement. But something about these words from her struck me to my very core. It wasn’t that I hadn’t heard them before because I have many times. I think it was the sincerity in which they were spoken. And the way they connected to me at that very moment of needing them perhaps the most. But at that time it was all that I needed to hear. I went back to my desk & finished out that work day with tears streaming down my face. “Oh there’s no charge.” Last night I went to have my hair done. I had an appointment originally scheduled on a different day-what now falls on a day we will be at the hospital. Things have obviously changed now so I wanted to get in to see Lexi before the surgery & subsequent time at the hospital. Part of me felt guilty for leaving my husband for such a few selfish moments, another part of me knew how bad I needed those moments for myself. For my stylist has become my friend. I have gone to her for years & have spent many hours in her chair prattling on about unimportant matters. Last night was spent mostly talking about Joel’s illness & about my hopes & fears about the upcoming days. I talked & she listened. It was cathartic for me. At the end as I went to pay she said no. She just wanted to do something nice for me. No strings attached-just out of kindness. I got in the car & cried on my way home.
It is the one card that you get in the mail that says what you need to hear. It is the email that someone sends you that says they are thinking of you & that your story has touched their life. It is the phone call from a friend who is just checking in to make sure you’re ok. Moments like these have changed my view on many things. About friendship & what it means to be a friend to someone. About how simple acts of kindness can mean so much to a person in need. How sometimes when you make things not “about you” all the time-that is when the reward is the greatest. It saddens me that it took a tragedy in my world to open me up to others around me. But sometimes it takes a tragedy to change your view & show you the true human spirit in ways you never once knew. Your walls start to come down-your cynicism disappears. You are forever wrecked & changed by that in every good way.
Tomorrow is the big day! We FINALLY meet with Joel’s surgeon for the pre-surgery consult. We have no idea what to expect with the appointment tomorrow but then again we pretty much have learned to roll with the punches & know that many things are out of our control. Either way-we are going to lobby hard for him to schedule Joel’s surgery for Thursday or Friday. We are ready to move forward. These past 13 days have seemed like 13 years to us both! Tomorrow’s post will contain all of the details from that appointment as well as the date of the surgery.
I also have to say that I was really proud of Joel’s blog yesterday. He was quite nervous about doing it because he doesn’t consider himself a writer. I told him to just write it down & then I would change it to make it cohesive if needed. After I read what he wrote I barely changed a thing besides minor punctuation. He did an incredible job. I was proud that he pushed through to do something even though it’s out of his comfort zone. Well done love.
We love you guys!