The other night I was wrapping my children's Christmas gifts using old gift bags when I came across one with a tag that made my heart hurt. To: Joel Love: Sarah it read. I remembered that Christmas well. It was our first with our new baby boy. It was also only a few months after we found out Joel's cancer had returned. We decided to go big and get each other all the random things we had been eyeing throughout the year but never purchased. I got him his favorite waffle knit shirts, wood chips for his grill, a cast iron skillet (he loved to cook) the list went on and on. It was a bittersweet Christmas. Sad because of the news we'd received and happy because we finally were parents, something we'd hoped for, for years. We didn't know it then, but it would also be our last Christmas together. This year carries much of that bittersweetness. Holidays fail to be the same without Joel here. As I watched Milo opening his gifts excitedly I ache for the moments his Daddy is not a part of.
Then there is the sweet. And there is lots of it this year. Against all odds we have Ellis here with us. She is thriving and continues to show improvement every day. Milo loves his sister to the moon and is so good with her. I am the Mommy of two beautiful babies, each of them are a living piece of my husband on this earth. There's much to be thankful for.
Life is such a journey. The ups the downs, the bitter the sweet. Never is that more apparent then on days like today. The Rodriguez family is definitely missing one today, but we are beyond thankful for all we have. We are blessed.
Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas.
This is how God showed His love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him.
1 John 4:9