I have heard a lot of people have been wanting me to write on our blog so I thought I would give it a shot. I am not a blogger like Sarah is, but I still wanted to put down some of my thoughts for you. Psalm 18:2-The Lord is my rock , my fortress & my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield & the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Most people who know me the best know that I do not show emotions. Maybe because my Mom passed away when I was younger & my Dad passing a few years ago (both of cancer). I don't let very many people into my life or ever see my emotions. When I was at the doctors office & I got the news I just stared at the doctor. I heard Sarah crying. She got up & started rubbing my back & I looked at her & said it will be ok. She looked at me like why are you comforting me when I should be comforting you?
Joshua 1:9-Have I not commanded you? Be strong & courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
The news really didn't make me feel emotional. In my mind I was thinking "ok well let's go get this out of my body & move on". Don't get me wrong-I do know this is bad news, but all along I have had a calm about it. My only emotional moment so far was when I found out it had not spread. That was such good news. It was the first time I shed a tear.
I am not the kind of person that worries about things to come. I wait for it to happen & then tackle it from there. But all along I have had a not normal calm about all of this. I know that calm comes from God.
As far as how I am feeling-I feel good. I have been a little tired. Passing the blood clots here & there can be scary but they tell me it's "normal". As long as the clots don't get worse then I am ok. With 2 days left until I meet the surgeon I am just wanting to get this all out of me & over with. Through everything I just have such a peace about it.
Also, I just wanted to thank all the people who have called with well wishes. All of the positive comments posted, the phones calls, all the people who have visited & brought me food & snacks, sent me cards in the mail & even the late-night cupcakes from Sprinkles (thanks Mungers)-thank all of you so much.
But mostly thank you for all of your prayers.