Houston-Once Again

Tomorrow evening we board a plane to go back to Houston once again. Trips to Houston are never fun. It is normally a quick trip filled with tests, doctors appointments & little else. We always have 1 full day (8-10 hours) of testing. All of the tests are in one building but everything is on a different floor. We spend the day going from floor to floor test to test. On Friday we will get all of his test results along with the new chemo plans. These trips are always trying & very stressful. I don't think that I will ever get use to the CT scan that checks for spreading of cancer. Every time it is a fight against fear & trying to stay in control of your emotions. It is not easy at all. Since Joel was diagnosed I feel like we have taken a huge breath in & have yet to exhale. I don't think that will come until we hit the 5-year cancer-free mark. Until then we know what to expect & we know what we will face during these trips. You try, as best you can, to stay relaxed & do what you have to do. I try to take it methodically & keep emotions out of it as much as possible. Joel has started to feel a little under the weather so we both gulped down Airborne tablets to prepare us for tomorrow. I think some of Joel's sickness is stress related. Like many guys he is an internalizer & does not talk about emotions. Many times I have to pry out of him what is going on inside his head. As the trip & the chemo looms I have seen a shift in his emotions. I think he was able to really enjoy this chemo cycle break & not think about what was ahead. I am always thinking about the things that are to come so I wasn't able to fully enjoy this break as I knew that we were only at the half way point. I know I say this a lot but we just have so so so far to go. It's overwhelming. At the start of this blog I thought about our year of chemo in terms of seasons. We started in the summer & I knew we would have to go through a fall, winter, spring, then summer again before we would be done. We have made it though the fall & are almost done with winter-that leaves spring & summer. As long as the journey has been so far our biggest prayer is that once Joel beats this disease-he beats it for good. We are so eager to get back into a normal life routine. This past year has been anything but normal.

Please be praying for us. Please pray for our emotions. It is very hard on us, emotionally, with everything that is going on around us. Please pray for strength for us. Please be praying for clear test results for Joel. Since it has been 6 weeks since his last chemo these CT scans will be very telling for the doctor's as to how his body is responding. Please pray for wisdom for our doctor & that the new chemo plans will agree with Joel's body.

Thank you all so much for lifting us up in prayer. You have no idea how much it means to us to know that we have people back home praying for us while we are away. Your prayers make a difference & we never take them for granted. I will blog again once I know the test results & our new chemo plans. We get home late Friday night so it will probably be a short blog to update on the scans with a longer blog to follow on the changes to his treatment.

Love,

Sarah