Here She Is

My baby girl cut her first teeth last week. I remember the first time I saw her teeth. It wasn't in person. It was on a screen. When Ellis was in the hospital we asked for a final test before we made the choice to remove her from the vent. An MRI was performed because of its clarity. We were praying for a miracle and that the scans would come back showing she'd somehow miraculously  had a change in her brain.

But when the results came back it was worse than they thought. Way worse.

"She'll never again be as she was. The damage is far too great. She won't survive. " they told me sadly.

My legs were shaking so badly I had to pull up a chair and sit down. There was no longer any doubt, my baby girl was not going to make it. Her death was no longer a question, but imminent.

In the midst of staring at those scans with tears pouring down my face I noticed something.

Her teeth.

The scans were so clear you could see the teeth still in her gums, yet to emerge.

"How sad" I thought "that I will only ever get to see my babies teeth on an MRI scan."

I had forgotten about that moment until last week. When Milo teethed he didn't make a peep. I would never even know it was happening until after the tooth popped in. In hindsight, lucky us!

Not so with Ellis.

She was cranky and irritable for weeks on end, chewing on her little hand like her life depended on it

Finally, finally two little teeth slowly but surely made their appearance.

Relief for her. Relief for us.

As I was going to bed that evening I was thinking about how thankful I was we made it through our first teething episode. That's when the Lord spoke to my heart so gently as He always does.

"Remember when you thought you'd only ever see her teeth in scans?"

I stopped dead in my tracks. The thought brought me to my knees.


Yes, I remember when I thought I'd only see her teeth in scans. Yes, I remember when I thought all hope was lost. Yes, I remember when my breaking heart was gearing up for yet another goodbye.

And yet....

Here we are.

She's here. She's learning. She's thriving. She's growing.

At that moment in the hospital I could've never dreamed this moment would be possible.

And yet....

Here she is.

Don't ever give up hope. Carry it deeply. No situation is too great, no problem too difficult for His mighty hand to touch.

These are the moments, the reminders I hold onto with all that I have.

Of how faithful He is. To the very, very end.

"He's the hope that holds me, and the Stronghold to shelter me, The only God for me, and my great confidence." Psalm 91:2-The Passion

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