Conquering

Conquering the moments-little by little. Taking it one day at a time sometimes one hour at a time. I think about my husband constantly. A better way to gauge it would be when am I not thinking about him. He is never far from our thoughts and we talk about him constantly. That's how I want it to be. One of my dear friends, who lost her mother when she was young, spoke to me about always talking about Joel and keeping him a constant presence in our home. Even now when Milo does something I tell him "you look just like your Dada when you make that face" or "that's so something your Dada would've done!" I never ever want speaking about his father to be far from our lips-ever.This weekend I went to dinner with several girlfriends. I love these girls and to have their company was amazing but sometimes throughout the night I was feeling "off". I finally realized what it was when I went to check my phone. I'm used to Joel texting me throughout the night asking me how I am and if I'm having fun. He would always check up on me throughout my day and it's been a hard adjustment to no longer have that. Then, whenever I would get home, he normally asks me questions about how my night went and if I had fun. I came home and there was none of that. It was hard. So I just went ahead and talked to him any way and told him all about my night. Sometimes when I'm trying to figure out how do I live life without him I find the better question just might be how do I live my life finding ways to still have him near in everything we do? Today was also my first day back at church. It was good to be back with my church family. I had missed them. It's crazy to me that now during worship, as we sing to The Lord, to know that Joel is right there actually with Jesus. Here we are trying to sing to our God that we can't see, and Joel literally sees and knows more about Him than I ever will on this earth. As I search for answers it's so amazing to know that in an instant Joel had complete understanding of the ways of God. That brings me so much comfort and happiness. Wanted to share a photo with you all from this afternoon-me with my love and my joy, my precious son. One of Gods greatest gifts to me. This little guy keeps me going every day as does Jesus. Through the storm, He is Lord of all.

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Cornerstone-Hillsong My hope is built on nothing less Than Jesus blood and righteousness I dare not trust the sweetest frame But wholly trust in Jesus name

Christ alone; cornerstone Weak made strong; in the Saviour's love Through the storm, He is Lord Lord of all

When Darkness seems to hide His face I rest on His unchanging grace In every high and stormy gale My anchor holds within the veil My anchor holds within the veil

Christ alone; cornerstone Weak made strong; in the Saviour's love Through the storm, He is Lord Lord of all He is Lord Lord of all

When He shall come with trumpet sound, Oh, may I then in Him be found; Dressed in His righteousness alone, Faultless stand before the throne

Christ alone; cornerstone Weak made strong; in the Saviour's love Through the storm, He is Lord Lord of all He is Lord Lord of all