Beauty Will Rise

Heartbreaking. That's the only way to describe a day like today. I always want to speak the truth so those of you who tell us how strong we are will know-we aren't always that strong. I was at the hospital most of the day with Joel so that I could attend his therapy sessions with him and see the (small) amount of progress he is making. Then came the time in our day that is always the best and the worst-when Milo comes to visit. It is the best because Joel's face lights up and so does Milo's-but that is where it ends. Joel has severe vision issues at this time so he really can't see Milo. He reaches out to stroke him and can't find him. Milo reaches out to have Joel hold him, but he really can't . This time Joel was having a chat with Milo telling him to be the "man of the house" and take care of Mommy while he was gone. We put Milo in his stroller to leave and my Mom took him out of the room and Joel just lost it and then I lost it. Gut wrenching does not even describe that moment. He wants to be home with his family so badly and yet we both know that he has quite a ways to go before that wish becomes a reality. I left and cried all of the way home and had some very real words with God-He knows what I am thinking any way. He lead me to this song and I listened to it in tears all of the way home.

Beauty Will Rise-Steven Curtis Chapman It was the day the world went wrong I screamed til my voice was gone And watched through the tears as everything came crashing down Slowly panic turns to pain As we awake to what remains and sift through the ashes that are left behind

But buried deep beneath All our broken dreams we have this hope

Out of these ashes... beauty will rise and we will dance among the ruins We will see Him with our own eyes Out of these ashes... beauty will rise For we know, joy is coming in the morning... in the morning, beauty will rise

So take another breath for now, and let the tears come washing down, and if you can't believe I will believe for you.

Cuz I have seen the signs of spring Just watch and see

Out of these ashes... beauty will rise and we will dance among the ruins We will see Him with our own eyes Out of these ashes... beauty will rise For we know, joy is coming in the morning... in the morning...

I can hear it in the distance and it's not too far away. It's the music and the laughter of a wedding and a feast. I can almost feel the hand of God reaching for my face to wipe the tears away, and say, "It's time to make everything new."

Make it all new

This is our hope. This is the promise. This is our hope. This is the promise. That it would take our breath away to see the beauty that's been made out of the ashes... out of the ashes... That it would take our breath away to see the beauty that He's made out of the ashes... out of the ashes..

Out of these ashes... beauty will rise and we will dance among the ruins We will see Him with our own eyes Out of this darkness... new life will shine and we'll know the joy is coming in the morning... in the morning...beauty will rise!

So don't think that we are always these pillars of strength because we aren't. We have moments of insane brokenness and heartbreak and sometimes they come wave after wave. Today was that day. But what we do have is hope. Hope that to the faithful He shows Himself faithful. And that He will make all things new. All things. This is our hope, this is our promise. That it will take our breath away to see the beauty that He's made out of the ashes.

Beauty, is going to rise.

20130629-203150.jpg