Recently I was approached by the website Ambitious Mommy. They were asking to do an interview with me. I spoke with the site on a wide array of subjects from Mommyhood to Widowhood and many things in between. I thought it would be something you guys might be interested in checking out.Below is a portion of the article. For the full version click HERE. Hope you enjoy!
Define your journey as a mom in three words?
Beautiful, Exciting, Challenging
Since becoming a mother, have you placed once desired goal on hold? Explain?
I don’t believe I have. Although not as simple as it was I, like many Mom’s, try to find a way to raise my children and live my dreams at the same time.
What does being an “Ambitious Mommy” mean to you?
To be a “Go-Getter”. Someone who is eager to succeed at what they do all while remembering that the role of being a Mommy is the most important.
What is something that your child/children do that pushes your buttons?
I have a very smart little two year old. It pushes my buttons when he pretends that he can’t hear by saying “what??” and pretend he did not hear me in the first place.
How would you define your parenting style?
I try to be a firm parent but always let my children know I’m their biggest supporter and they can come to me with anything.
Do you have an opinion on immunizing your children?
I believe most parents strive to make the best decisions on what is best for their children and the decision to immunize or not is a very personal one. I have friends who swing both ways on the issue and neither side will ever get any judgment from me on it.
Are your children in private, public or home school? Do you prefer one over the other? If so why?
My children aren’t old enough yet. I am open to all options on this one and haven’t quite yet nailed down exactly what we will do.
Have you or someone close to you ever experienced cheating? How did you deal with it? Do you have any advice for other women that maybe experiencing this?
I think every situation is different. It would be a women’s personal choice to stay in that situation or not. Having children in the equation definitely make a tough decision all the more difficult, but again a personal choice.
Have you or someone close to you ever been a victim of domestic violence? How did you deal with it? Do you have any advice for other women that maybe experiencing this?
Thankfully, I have never experienced domestic violence. The only advice I would humbly give is that if it happens once, that is once too much.
What has been your most challenging aspect of being a widow? Have you found a way to deal with it? If so how?
The most challenging aspect has been learning to be a single mother while also learning to do life without my best friend and all the emotions that come with that. I take it day by day. Some days are better than others. It has been a lot of change to deal with at once.
With having to balance being a mother and having a career do you have anyone that helps you? If so in which way’s do others help you or are there areas that you still need help in?
I have help with childcare. I also have an amazing network of family and girlfriends ready to jump in and be there for me at a moment’s notice. I am so thankful for the community that surrounds me daily.
Have you started to date? If so what are the challenges, if not what is stopping you?
No. I have no desire to date. Raising my kiddos keeps me plenty busy. Also, I am still in love with my husband. His not being here does not change that fact. It would be a hard thing to overlook in order to let another man into my life.
What have you noticed that has changed about you in regards to your physical body, how you filter your emotions and mental state since having kids?
My body is a completely different post kids. With the emotions and mental state, everything goes through the lens of not just thinking about myself. I am now thinking about my kids as well.
What do you do for yourself and how often?
Kidless nights of dinner/coffee with girlfriends are super important to me. I try to make it happen at least twice a month.
What is your biggest lesson learned?
Looking back, I wish I had taken more time to enjoy each stage of my children growing up, rather then to be in a hurry for the next one to hurry up and get here. I have realized that everything comes in time. It’s so true what every Mom says, the time goes by, far too quickly.
What is one dream you’ve tucked away for the moment? Why?
Definitely traveling. I have dreamed of seeing so many places on this big beautiful earth we live on. For now, with two little ones, I know much of that traveling will have to wait.
What are you great at doing that others may highlight. (ie. through work, life experience, other)?
I have been told I am good at writing. When my husband first got sick it was my release. Now, in his absence, I’ve kept going hoping others will find hope in our story. If I am a “writer” in any way I would definitely call myself an accidental one!
When you experience moments of doubt or feel self-critical, how do you deal with it?
This is when having a network of other Mommy friends is the best! When I feel like I’m not handling things in the best way or am over-critical I will bring it to them. Then they tell me their own personal horror stories and we all laugh at how ridiculous it was to be upset in the first place. We are all works in progress.
What is the biggest defining moment of your life and what did you learn from it?
Most definitely the death of my husband. It has marked me forever. It taught me to live life fully and completely, to find purpose in your pain and that beauty can rise from the ashes of your life.
What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given?
To put others above yourself and to walk in humility.
If you could remove an obstacle in your life what would it be?
That whole obstacle of having to work to make money to live. It takes way too much time out of my day!
Has an event you experience ever dramatically changed your life? How did you do it?
When I was 22 years old I decided to move to New York on a whim. I made the decision on a Friday and flew out on a Monday. I didn’t give myself much time to think about it or change my mind. My time there was rich with experience and the best decision I ever made. I met my husband there and my life changed forever from that point.
What’s one thing you’re deeply proud of- but would never put on your resume?
I recently became a single Mom, after my husband’s death due to complications from cancer. Being a single Mom has been the toughest thing I’ve ever had to experience in my life. I take it day by day but I am most proud of my strength and how I’ve been able to keep our household a steady, safe, and loving environment, with a lot of grace from the Lord.
What successes have you celebrated recently?
I have a blog I write that has grown a lot this year. To me success is not necessarily in just the numbers, but by the way people have shared their life has been impacted by simply telling my story. If I can take my pain and turn it into a purpose, that’s success.
What role does faith play in your life as far as decision making, parenting, relationships, self-growth?
We go to church. I believe that having a moral center and imparting that into my kids, is extremely important to me.
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