A New Normal

The past 2 days have been tough. Maybe some of the hardest yet. Yesterday Joel started passing blood clots again. I am hoping that has never happened to any of you because if it has you know that it is quite frightening. As I said yesterday, Joel had been feeling really good, mostly tired, but no other symptoms. We had been moving forward & prepping for his surgery next week by getting everything ready on our end. Then yesterday happened & you feel like you are back to square one with so many emotions to deal with. It's tough & it's scary. We immediately called the Urologist today who told us that for Joel's condition this was "normal". Talk about a new kind of normal. They told us to keep a close eye on him & if things started to decline then take him to the ER. The moment we found out about the cancer last week all that we wanted was for it to be out of his body. To be honest it has been a terribly trying time waiting for the Dr. It has also been really trying getting use to how our life is now. I told my Mom today I feel like our innocence has been taken away. Nothing is as it was. It has been hard. I never want this blog to be fake or for me to just pretend that everything is rosy. Someone asked me if I was still "day to day" I told them more like "hour to hour". Through it all we still have an immense amount of faith in our God-we know He is the Healer & that He is healing Joel. Faith is believing in the unseen even when it is difficult. Symptoms do not dictate our belief. Today was a difficult day. That is why I cling to Him even more. That's all I know to do.

Love,

Sarah & Joel