To My Firstborn On His First Day of School

My Dearest Milo,

How is it possible that today you start Kindergarten? Everyone always told me it went by fast, and to savor every moment. They were right.

I swear it was only yesterday we were bringing you home from the Hospital all swaddled up like a little baby burrito. You were my firstborn and I was so in awe of every coo and smile the dirty diapers didn’t even faze me. Every time I looked at you I couldn’t believe you were mine. Being your Mommy was my greatest dream come true. Still is.

We have been through so much together in your short life. More than many do in a lifetime. Through it all the joy I see in your eyes has been my greatest strength.

I remember a day when your little sister was in the hospital. I had cried for days on end and nothing or no one could console me. I hadn’t seen you in over a week so we decided you would come for a visit. We walked out to the Hospital play area, had a doughnut picnic and ran around playing for the longest time. Your smile and laughter was the healing balm my heart needed that day. Just your presence was a light in the midst of such darkness.

And that, Milo Andrew, is who you are. You are light.

In many ways it feels as if I am releasing you into a world that can be a very dark place. And that is a little scary for this Mommy of yours. There’s nothing more I wish I could do than put you in a bubble that kept you safe from every hurt and pain for the rest of your life. But I know that’s not possible, as much as I wish it were true.

We know first hand life can be unfathomably cruel. Yet we also know first hand beauty can come from the hardest moments, and sometimes mercy comes in the most unexpected ways. We’ve learned to choose laughter, joy and love in response to despair. We’ve learned not to fear the bad that may never come and instead expect for goodness to follow us always.  Take these things with you, my son. They are engrained into who you are. They will always be the wings that carry you.

What I want you to know the most is, your Mommy is so proud of you. I believe in you with my whole heart. You have a family behind you who adores you and is forever cheering you on. Home will always be your safest place and our hearts will always be FOR you. I love you with everything inside of me. There’s nothing you could ever do to lose my love. No matter what…without condition.

There is only ONE you, Milo. And this world needs everything you have to offer. Never forget that.

Lastly, remember what Mommy always tells you: Milo, you are brave, you are mighty, and you are strong.

Now go take the world my dear, I’ll be behind you every step of the way.

Love Always,

Your Mommy

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